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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Jul 31, 2006 23:37:32 GMT -5
I sometimes make random raps, tho I don't rap em, so I suppose its poetry..
anyone got some to show us?.. or touching poetry, or good lyrics from a song, post that shit up !
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Post by faceeater on Jul 31, 2006 23:42:59 GMT -5
post up one of your raps/poems. i'll put one of my poems up in a moment
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 1, 2006 0:01:08 GMT -5
I have none with me man.. about 2 months ago, I kicked in the side of my computer in anger (refrained from kicking my sister.. so I dont care) but I broke the fuck out of my computer lmao.. I'm usin an old 98 now.. no shits saved on it.. but I'll b startin more soon
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Post by faceeater on Aug 1, 2006 0:04:10 GMT -5
oh haha, well thats alright. i'll put up one of my things.
what ever happened to that boy?
i could forever look in his eyes
I used to see all sorts of joy
now he sits alone in his room and cries.
it breaks my heart to know i made him feel that way
make him suffer and he endures the pain
Bring me back to that day
When he wasnt beaten and slain.
he sits there weeping and he wonders why
if only he knew i still feel the same
what was i thinking? why did i say goodbye?
all fingers are pointed at me, i am the one to blame
take me back to that time
he held me in his arms, our love was never for show
he was always going to be mine
whispering words in my ears "im never going to let you go"
oh god i hope its not too late
his words they rang so true
all i can do is sit around and wait
i look back and i realize i still love you
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 1, 2006 0:08:36 GMT -5
cool shit.. I'ma work on 1 2nite, finish it some other time.. maybe 2nite, n post it
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Post by cheerbarbie on Aug 1, 2006 0:09:03 GMT -5
That was really good! I like it a lot!
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Post by cheerbarbie on Aug 1, 2006 0:09:27 GMT -5
Time Waited is time wasted
someday isnt a promise
someday isnt a guarentee
someday isnt reality
Someday is only something you can dream
Someday may not come
And then what are you left with
A broken heart, lost hope, and wasted time
Time waited is Time wasted
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Post by faceeater on Aug 1, 2006 0:10:09 GMT -5
sweet deal. good luck on writing it and everything.
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 1, 2006 0:27:18 GMT -5
workn all day no time for play but at the end of it all I make the right call I spark up the mary jane and away goes all of the day's pain the plants surrounded by so many laws and rules sometimes, a man could even say that its cruel, to hate on something so sweet kind of like bein kicked in the nuts with a metal c leet the bongs a bubblin an we havin a good time we're chillin, relaxin, not doin any crime but then again it is a crime to fuck the system and to smoke a plant that has so much wisdom I just made that.. no real plot.. just stoner-like-get-off-our-fucking-back type shit  |
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Post by faceeater on Aug 1, 2006 0:51:19 GMT -5
Time Waited is time wasted someday isnt a promise someday isnt a guarentee someday isnt reality Someday is only something you can dream Someday may not come And then what are you left with A broken heart, lost hope, and wasted time Time waited is Time wasted i like that, its sad though but true. thanks for saying my stuff was good. sometimes i question if it is good at all lol. workn all day no time for play but at the end of it all I make the right call I spark up the mary jane and away goes all of the day's pain the plants surrounded by so many laws and rules sometimes, a man could even say that its cruel, to hate on something so sweet kind of like bein kicked in the nuts with a metal c leet the bongs a bubblin an we havin a good time we're chillin, relaxin, not doin any crime but then again it is a crime to fuck the system and to smoke a plant that has so much wisdom that was good too. you are good at writing. |
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 1, 2006 21:30:10 GMT -5
Devil's Child
they always said I was smart
they always said I wasn't a retart
but the older I get, the less I care
that this lifes going nowhere
teachers holdin grudges
an I'm throwin punches
gettin nowhere anytime soon
like I'm trapped within a caccoon
always tired as fuck, waiting to be released
and you know I'm tired when under my eyes are creased
boredom lures me to illegal activies that always seem to be fun
but in the future, they're probbably just gunna seem dumb
bloody nose, waking up late
its four forty five AM an theres a stranger at the gate
I pocket my knife n walk out to see
as I come close, I can see his face is full of glee
it was the fucking devil
coming to take me down to his level
so here I am, burnin in hell
smokin joints n drinkin beers, crunked quite well
he said he'd give me a chance
if I'd become his lance
I choose to do so, and there I was- back in my room
staring out the window where the deivl once loomed
as I awake, I'm not thinkin straight to the core
I'm wonderin whats up, but then remember the night before
I am the Devil's Child
An I'm bout to go wild
newest story rap/poem its not done yet, I just had a brainblock and couldn't go on
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Post by Jake Martinez on Aug 2, 2006 12:07:30 GMT -5
Constructive criticism...yay!
Okay, don't sacrifice a message for a rhyme.
Raps and poems don't need to rhyme, and honestly they feel cheesy when they do if you can see someone wanted to say something else but couldn't because they wanted it to rhyme.
Just my two cents, man.
Jake
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Post by Jake Martinez on Aug 2, 2006 12:12:28 GMT -5
Oh, also...Remember, rhyming doesn't mean that two words sound EXACTLY the same at the end.
"it breaks my heart to know i made him feel that way
make him suffer and he endures the pain
Bring me back to that day
When he wasnt beaten and slain." Sorry, faceater, I still don't know the code for a quote...
This is good, but if it were mine, I would have written "When he wasn't beaten and maimed". Remember, poetry is about saying as much as you can with as little words as possible.
Maimed still rhymes with pain. Not as much as slain, but still it rhymes quite well. (maymd)
Saying beaten and slain makes me think you're mourning a dead friend.
Saying beaten and maimed makes me think you're mourning a suffering friend.
Just my two cents...
Jake
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 2, 2006 14:04:36 GMT -5
saying beaten and head chopped off means.. someone just died  |
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Post by Jake Martinez on Aug 2, 2006 14:30:32 GMT -5
saying beaten and head chopped off means.. someone just died Decapitated = head chopped off. Maimed = someone was fucked up so bad a part of their body was lost forever, such as a toe, hand, leg...etc. |
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 2, 2006 15:07:15 GMT -5
yea.. I was just sayin something off topic
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Post by kenn on Aug 4, 2006 1:04:53 GMT -5
well done guys i liked ur rymes uv inspired me i wanna write one to now!
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Post by kenn on Aug 4, 2006 5:41:19 GMT -5
I
wrote this tonite ,wanna share it .I dnt think its a poem but ere it goes. On the table i stand tall but i can still fit in ur hand. People push their lips against me everyday but i have never been kissed People use me but i dont mind. I have many friends but they dont talk to me. I smoke but i dont get stoned. I burn and bubble but i am not molten rock,I am a bong!
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Post by juggaloatthedoor on Aug 4, 2006 7:26:51 GMT -5
haha nice kenn, I didnt get it at first, but it all makes sense, good job
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Post by Xadriic on Aug 4, 2006 8:09:19 GMT -5
Not mine, but 2Pac's. That man was incredible, RIP.
Yah nigga, Drop the top on your muthafuckin ride
This how we do it on the west coast BAABBBY
Rollin' down the Four O Five
Gettin' high
White boys done wrecked their shit
Tryin to check my ride
I ain't being bootsy
Crusin' in a Six-o Impala
Drivin' like I'm in a Hooptee
car full of ballin' caps
keep yo hand on the strap
and take all the craps
Niggas know my steel-lo
all legit
but I'm drapped
like a nigga movin' kilo
Shit don't stop
cuz i can make that ass drop
make the front pop
And Hit the three wheel motion
All Day
Hit the freeway
take it easy, uhh
Let's slide
And pick-up some hoochies
ride
right back to the movies
High
talking back to the screen drinkin' liquor
Havin' big dreams of gettin' richer
I'm livin that
Chorus (4x) (Tupac)
Thug Life, y'all know the rules
gotta do whatcha gotta do (Stay True)
Big Stretch represent the real nigga
flex, Live squad and this mutha fucker catch wreck
(Stretch)
Thug Life
sharp as a roughneck
Shakin' the dice, we roll long, ain't nothin' nice
so the vice wanna follow us around (raize up)
Got 'em runnin' as we clown thru the town (blaze up)
Another one, had to throw another gun
Don't need another case
you can see it on my face son
But I ain't fallin' yet
And I gotta give a shout to where my ball is at
(Tupac)
Mophreme Tell 'em why the hoes dream
gettin high off a nigga like a dope fiend
(Mophreme)
Cuz I'm non-stop, and I'm always hustlin'
twenty four seven, ain't nothin buck
but when a young G's flippin keys for a livin'
Try to make a mill off the time I'm givin'
trippin'
mad
I'm crazy
Can't nobody fade me
And I been goin' insane lately
And everybody tryin ta hold me back
I'm about to snap
You better move back
You know I led a.....
Chorus (4x) (Tupac)
Thug Life, y'all know the rules
gotta do whatcha gotta do (Stay True)
Maaaannnn, I don't worry about the Five-O
if they start,
cuz it's all about survival
Just stay smart
Keep your mind on your bank roll
always
stay ahead of these stank hos
These days
It's an all out rat race
And look at MEEE just caught another cat case
That makes three
My laywers getting cash up the ass
Don't even ask
Why I'm buck wild ?
Don't smile
don't laugh
To the young G's comin up
peep game
Don't let the money make you change
or act strange
Stay broke
It's all in together now
Keep pumping loud
till the crowd
bring the top down
Is that Tupac Thug Life ?
Hell Yah
Try to dirty up my name
but it's still here
which way do I turn ?
i'm strapped
Lost in the storm
I can't turn back
with that...
Chorus (4x) (Tupac)
Thug Life, y'all know the rules
gotta do whatcha gotta do (Stay True)
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Post by kenn on Aug 4, 2006 20:53:58 GMT -5
I like this thread! I like these boards!
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Post by thepope on Aug 21, 2006 7:02:25 GMT -5
im dj dopey popey and i rap here in california..keep up the good forums
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